El Chigüire Gives Up


This feels historic, somehow. Venezuela’s premier source of satire bows to the evident: you just can’t parody a movement this good at parodying itself. 

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  1. Some people said this day would never come and yet, here we are. It’s amazing we reached this point in the very FIRST day of the campaign. I don’t know how they can top this, but they’ll try.

        • You have to admit, there’s a certain sort of poetic justice to it, when all is said and done.

          Given the amount of nonsense he twittered while alive, why not have him twittering endlessly after death? Who knew that instead of having an account, he’d just do it as a bird?

  2. When Chavez died, I thought, well, Venezuela is going to become a pretty boring authocracy, yet, the whole show the cubans have erected around it tells me that while our industries may be inproductive, our comedy output is never going to run out. I dont know if thats a good thing.

    • So you admit Maduro is trolling the whole country?

      I’ll grant you that, he’s a very successful troll. If nothing else we must grant that to Chavismo.

    • Perhaps el imperio sent the pajarito a inocularle con una enfermedad… Seguro que tienen bastantes pistas sobre el tema…

        • The thought of anyone from this blog sitting down to read possibly the most important, monumental and influential book of all time….nope, can’t visualise it.

          • I know, Lord of the Rings can be somewhat difficult to get into, but if you get through the first 100 pages, it really starts picking up after that.

          • The simple thought of imagining a Chavista trying to understand Das Kapital is something uninmaginable. I can see how they would rub Das Kapital against their forehead. It would be like the Prayer bump of Islamists… shall we call it Marx Stain? Or perhaps Marx’s Spot to be more neutral?

            I can see how they could open up the book at random and get “The Tendency of the rate of profit to fall” or “Corrigenda” or “Index”, stare at the pages and genuflect.
            I can’t imagine much activity in their prefrontal cortex at that moment, unless they are in REM mode and with the corresponding hallucinatory patterns.

            I can’t even imagine what their reaction would be if they had to be confronted with the actual content – not the page rubbing – of something like this


            We are talking about people who are product of the “imagologie” as best described by Kundera…people who are able to keep power only by the sheer luck of Venezuela getting such a petrodollar deluge from record oil prices and because most people in the country do not know the murder rate in Venezuela is 5 to 60 times higher than in what Boligarcs call “capitalist” countries, where many think that indeed products from the Haier corporation are offered at “socialist prices” and where many are scared when they see the finger print machines next to the voting booth – just as most people would anywhere-.

          • If the murder rate were as low as in capitalist countries (Venezuela is a pre-capitalist, feudal, petro republic) there would be no PSUV and no Chavismo.
            By the way: the murder rate has more than tripled since pseudosocialism (i.e. rule by military thugs + the worst of the pack from the Dep. of Sociology + former guerrillas who never had a job) is in power (from 19 to 65+).

            Violent crime is one of the ways Chavismo has found to make people scared.
            In Venezuela you don’t need to throw people from helicopters as Punochet would do.
            Go around areas deemed “del pueblo” and express your thoughts and you can get shot dead like they did in Anzoátegui with the guy from Primero Justicia, like they did in Barinas in October…or just brutally wounded, as happens from time to time and it doesn’t even make it to the Caracas newspapers.

            My question to you: is your dad working at a Venezuelan embassy? Or you?
            Just want to understand better your motivations.

          • My only advice to you is: be prepared for the crime rate to decrease substantially before 2018, leading to a Chavista victory of at least 70%.

          • I could agree with this, to some extent. After all, Losing 15,000 to 20,000 voters every year above and beyond normal mortality rates has to really hurt at the polls eventually.

          • Yoyo

            What can you say for the Chavez regime on this aspect? The most basic aspect of governmemt, caring about the safety of its own people, seems to be lacking. With all the improvements made in poverty, whether marginal or significant, why are people murdering each other at unimaginable rates. What other country with this much wealth would have this kind of violent crime and nonexistent criminal justice system?

            Have you ever been to Venezuela?

          • Sure I have been to Venezuela. Crime is too high, government hasn’t done enough, has been punished electorally. It was probably expected that poverty reduction would take care of rising crime.

            Have you visited countries in Central America with equal or higher homicide rates? You’ll notice that opposition parties do not relentlessly hound the government of the day, even if they’ve been in power for many years, and even they continued the exact same policies as the previous administration.

          • Rory,

            You’ve just revealed the fundamental flaw in your thinking, that which was behind that complete mountain-of-nonsense book that you wrote.

            You said: “What other country with this much wealth would have this kind of violent crime and nonexistent criminal justice system?”

            Whoever told you that a country is wealthy just because it has oil? Somehow you’ve completely misunderstood that what makes a country wealthy has virtually nothing to do with what resources it has in the ground, but rather the productivity of its private sector.

            Venezuela’s private sector has long been characterized by very low productivity, both before oil and after oil. Oil wealth does nothing to help this, in fact it likely has negative effects. So how on earth you would think that Venezuela has so much wealth simply because it has oil is beyond me. Apparently spending several years living in Venezuela wasn’t enough for you to figure this out.

          • “Whoever told you that a country is wealthy just because it has oil? Somehow you’ve completely misunderstood that what makes a country wealthy has virtually nothing to do with what resources it has in the ground, but rather the productivity of its private sector.”

            GAC – by that logic, government is actually further impoverishing Venezuelans through the systematic destruction of the private sector. So, it reduces poverty and increases it?

            Part of your logic is flawed insomuch that governmental policies can direct, significantly, the development of the private sector and promote growth. The most notable case that you would be familiar with is the explosion in interstate commerce within the United States after the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956. By developing infrastructure on a nationwide scale, the government caused interstate traffic and trade to substantially grow. Likewise, research and development, largely driven by both military and educational establishments led to this here intertubes thingy we are using to debate the subject.

            There has been a trillion dollars in money flowing into Venezuela in the last dozen years. What does the country have to show for it? Grand infrastructure projects? A healthy R&D community? That’s roughly $2500 per citizen per year, being conservative on the estimates. The country SHOULD be wealthy, but it has squandered its opportunity. It has rotting roads, collapsing electrical systems, no significant private industry or exports beyond oil, and a real brain drain.

  3. If after Lady Di died Tony Blair had said to the press that the spirit of Lady Di had come in the guise of a little bird singing a sweet song and had blessed him , he would have been sent straight to the loonie house . Here the regime apparently thinks that such statement will likely get Maduro more votes . It tells you something of the complete lunacy that is Chavismo and how its useless to reason or argue or say anything rational to rescue them from their delusions !! This country does not need a president it needs a Psychatrist !!

          • No shit! He’s one of the most ridiculous, outlandish, “beyond the reach” propagandists that I’ve ever heard! In fact, I can barely listen to him for more that just one minute! Disgusting, truly disgusting. Not to mention, disturbing…

          • 2 Audis iguales ultimo modelo hace unos anos a las 3 A. M. corrian desde La Cota Mil por Altamira hacia abajo cuando uno, o los dos, chocaron, con uno de los 2 “afectados” (el joven militar “afectado” asignado al “afectado” psiquiatra ofical politico) terminando en la Clinica Avila (y, despues en La Floresta, recuerdo, por falta de atencion), y, el proximo dia fueron eliminados los archivos del incidente en las Clinicas por oficiales del Gobierno. Saludos, Gata.

          • If he was Chavez psychiatrist he is definitely not the psychiatrist that moon struck Venezuelans need , in fact he might need a COMPETENT pyschiatrist himself !!

          • Wikipedia: “His father was a leader in the Socialist League and was tortured to death by police in the 1970s”

  4. Poor Chiguire…how is he supposed to top things like “…sentimos al Comandante, sentimos su ardimiento!”

    Que el ultimo apague la luz antes de salir!


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