I-guana blame the right wing for this


1231487_567443559978881_1888073887_nA super-massive blackout is currently hitting large chunks of Venezuela. Surprised? Probably not. But Nicolás Maduro sure is surprised.

The President has gone to Twitter to call the event “strange” and “abrupt.” Rest assured, folks – he and our Armed Forces are taking care of the problem. Let’s just hope our obese generals let go of their 24-year old Scotch and wake up from their nap to, you know, take care of the situation. Maduro’s “military” solution to the problem is curious since, back in April, he warned that the opposition would want to cause a massive blackout, and ordered all electricity hot spots to be “militarized.”

One is left wondering what ever happened to that plan.

I guess the event wouldn’t be so abrupt if they simply had pre-announced rolling blackouts, which is what they should have done a long time ago. But that would require acknowledging the problem is with the state-owned electricity grid and not “sabotage,” their usual answer to every problem in Venezuela.

Ah, it seems like only yesterday the government was promising an end to the electricity crisis. In fact, it was in 2010.

As for who is to blame? I will give you three tries, and the first two don’t count.

It used to be that iguanas were to blame for blackouts. Now, after an exhaustive investigation that lasted seven minutes, you can blame the blown fuses in your house on … the extreme right wing!

Perhaps it was an extreme right-wing iguana.

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    • animals sometimes screw things up but you cannot blame lack of maintenance to them too you know. Blackouts happens way too regular to assume it’s an unfortunate critter blowing up the system one more time

  1. Assuming sabotage as fact, just because… then that means that the ultraderecha endógena pass trough the Armed Force security… which now I will conclude in my 30 seconds investigation… that the Armed Force is ours! HA! Opposition controlled armed forces! In your face Nicolás!

  2. Well for me the only organism linked to this blackout are RATS…rojas, rojitas that do not have idea what to do.I assume that dear “Jessie” will quit as he promised few months ago…but wait I guess that his statements are not valid because the extreme right wings can be blame for this! With this excuse they are militarizing everything…so maybe this is a inside job to finally start jailing ” the right wing” opposition.

    Maria Corina, Julio Borges, HCR and LL will be blame in one way or another…Cronica de una muerte anunciada

    • Ya va ya va, no anunció que “abrieron” una investigación sino que la “aperturaron” – ya no se contentan con inventar los resultados de las investigaciones, tienen que inventar palabras para anunciar que las lanzan!

      • two options:

        1. this is a scheduled, unannounced blackout that lets them blame the opposition for the (scheduled but kept hush-hush) lack of electricity and gain points as they (again, on schedule) re-establish service.


        2. they’re absolutely useless and have to blame the imperialist iguanas for everything.

        occam’s razor says 2. paranoid oppositionist says 1.

        • coño forgive the word but those oppo guys do it all the time, how come the bolivarian patriots with their face and bare breast painted can’t stop it? hello? the guys have been in power 14 years and still are mamarrachos enough to prevent the regular sabotage? julio borges with a pair of pliers and a mask sneaking around the power plant is putting this regime to eat shit… gimme a break … chavistas take note the guys are incompetent anyway you flip this tortilla, okay

          • I agree with you. It is incompetence on a never before seen scale.

            The point was that there are many paranoid oppos who think Raul and Fidel and El Bigoton are machiavellian geniuses and that all of this is plotted.

  3. I sent one of my best operatives to chew on the 765 cable because they keep referring to us as Iguanas,when we demand that we be referred to as Iguanas e Iguanos………..

      • I can visualize it already, tomorrow Jesse Chacón will present, together with the minister of Defence, two Cachacos handcuffed and with their T-shirts covering their faces and showing their bellies, as usual when criminals are presented to the media in Venezuela. A sergeant will hold a microphone in front of one of them and he will declare: “venga y le digo, lo que pasó es que nojotros estábamos en los rines, ají que fuimos a ver al Sr. Uribe. Este nos dijo que nos iba a pagar 1 millón de dólares para fuéjemos a camellar para el Sr Borges. Cuando llegamos a caja del Sr Borges este nos dio estos alicates (camera focuses on two pliers on a table) y nos indicó dónde era que teníamos que cortar los cables. Pudimos pasar a la instalación con un documento chiviado que nos entregó la jeñora Machado. Queremos reclamarle al Sr Uribe que no sea gorrero y que nos pague”

  4. The guy even mispells what he writes in his tweeter!! https://twitter.com/NicolasMaduro

    Man, the president of a country should at least proffread his messages! What a dumb-ignorant-uneducated-lying-corny-repetitive being Venezuela chose for president. It’s really freakin’ embarassing. And the worst part is he continues fkin’ up, being ridiculed over and over. I wonder if it’s what Fidel has ordered him to do.

    Chavez you really picked the worst of the worst!

  5. Blackouts in September, which also affect Caracas? This sounds like an accidental transmission problem, as opposed to a deliberate and undisclosed plan to ration the insufficient generation.

  6. The electric outrage caused “traffic chaos” in Caracas? Traffic in Caracas has always been a constant mess and even more with free gasoline. Could traffic in Caracas be any worse than on a regular day?

    Maybe all the pedestrians from the broken Metro blocked the sidewalks so cars and motos could not use them.


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