Chavismo is Committed to Social Inclusion

Chavismo always claimed that Social Inclusion was a winning bet. They were right!

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Well, what do you know? For years chavismo’s been saying that only the Bolivarian Socialism could really mobilize the resources of the Venezuelan petrostate on behalf of Social Inclusion, and it turns out they were right all along!

We’re talking here about Social Inclusion the horse, of course, not the social policy outcome. Bought by regime-connected bolibourgeois extraordinaire Ronald Sánchez and racing in the ever so socially inclusive Gulfstream Park West in Florida, Social Inclusion-the horse-has has had pretty much all the success that social inclusion-the policy goal-has bombed on.

The Sánchez family leads by example: they are all socially included in this guiso. Sánchez’s daddy was formerly heading up the Administrative offices of the Environment Ministry, before becoming president of the state-owned Bolivariana de Seguros y Reaseguros. Sánchez’s brother, Tomás, was president of the Superintendencia Nacional de Valores, a chavista equivalent of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

Just like chavismo said all along, investments in Social Inclusion turn out to produce enormously outsized returns: a mere $60,000 up-front investment has yielded over $6 million in prize money. And to think the opposition doubted the sincerity of chavismo’s commitment to Social Inclusion!

 Typical escualidos. Que falta de sensibilidad social, Dios mio!!

In a plot twist arcane enough to make the whole thing look like Capybarean satire, now the Emir of Qatar wants in on the game, putting up $8million for a 75% stake in…Social Inclusion!

 I’m telling you, this story has everything: the galloping, whiplash inducing self-awareness void, the grossly vulgar conspicuous consumption, the cartoonishly self-parodic turn of fate…it basically reads like a screenplay whipped up in one coke-fueled overnight binge by a hack opposition propagandist. But it isn’t! It’s all true!

16 COMMENTS

  1. Seeing that “Social Inclusion” had defeated “Honor Code” and “We’re All Set” so soundly, I wondered if this might be satire…

  2. Are all the other horses racing on the video owned by bolichicos??

    Social Inclusion
    Honor Code
    We’re All Set
    Specialnightaction

    And are they ranked by irony?

  3. It is so ironic that it makes me laugh but feel bad for doing so. It is like watching a “El Patron del Mal”, you end up loving the guy but know you should not.

  4. And the blind fanatics of the chavista base will bark and screech that you all are just envious of their immaculate overlords, like in those pictures with ricardo shánchez holding nutella in the Ebul Empire.

  5. The worst part of the whole thing is that the guy’s shamelessness and lack of irony in his pride are very likable. You could make a movie out of this Red Secretariat, Red Velvet Seabiscuit

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