Armageddon poetry slam

There are only so many ways that one can forecast Venezuela's impending collapse. We round up this week's international headlines in haiku form. Enjoy.


Venezuela is

on the fast track to smash-up.

An epic collapse.

-Miami Herald

Maduro insists

on kamikaze tactics

Likely explosion.

-Washington Post

Skyrocketing up

One thousand, six-forty two

percent inflation.

-CNN Money

Guri, a desert.

Motta prays for rain so that

he won’t lose power.


The revolution

can ensure prosperity

Economic war.


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  1. There once was a man in Caracas
    He’d prefer to be where Barack is
    He looked like Saddam
    All moustache and scam
    His logic was that of a jackass

  2. OT: Emi, I spoke with IBM about the Venezuela implementation and Watson. IBM did not do this and would not do this. The article relied on a confidential source and it’s possible that the source and author are confused with the technical aspects. It can also be a false flag or something else. I am pursuing some leads regarding third parties and the former IBM Latam GM.

  3. The details will surface but there are problems and holes with story. Nobody is too concerned so dont worry. If anything comes up, you will know

  4. The author contacted the wrong IBM locations for comment. I discussed this yesterday with IBM and others in DC. Consensus is IBM did not do this. We dont know exactly who did what in BRV but the implementation as described, No.

  5. When in Saving Private Ryan’s Normandy invasion a soldier clears a Nazi bunker with a torcher someone yells “don’t shoot, let them burn!”.

    I would say the same to the Opo…wait.

    Wait, Opo,stop trying to unseat Maduro. The mess is so big and yet to become even more painful that the medicine would be equally big and quite probably harder than our current pain.

    Wait, until the people that still supports this *thing* ask for the radio and chemo therapy to strip them from this pain (assuming they will find the medicine at the 800SaludYA).

    Wait, it won’t take long before the pragmatism we carry inside will break through the many layers of Chavez propaganda. El hijo de Chavez nunca va a ser el hijo de Ramos Allup pero quien sabe si podria ser el hijo de Leopoldo Lopez. The good news is that Maduro is more effective than the Opo to shore up the message.

    Wait and don’t worry, Maduro will not solve 15 years of unimaginable destruction in the next year or so. No one has accused him of being that smart and he is waiting himself for God to help him out. So, wait, if God would’ve wanted him to succeed, he would have done it already- wouldn’t he?.

    Wait, and when everyone tells you that the country is about to get destroyed then wait. If people are afraid the military will take over, wait a little bit more. And when the people chavistas, escualidos, and ni-ni come to you asking for your help, when the experience of military regimes becomes bitter enough to not even pronounce it, when Chavez memory turns to the reality of his character and history puts him in his righteous place then you will know that by waiting you have saved the country.

    Then we can go and put order en la pea, talk to the IMF and seek a little time off from the market in order to save the patient.

    Wait Opo wait…Beware!!, we have not come out of the crisis that started on 1983 and we are just going to ask another generation for the required sacrifices. That is 33 solid years of a never ending crisis and almost 4 generations in this labyrinth. We have to start from scratch if necessary to never falter again, even if it means starting from ashes, if it means waiting. So, what is 33 years in comparison with just few more months…

    So, wait and DON’T SHOOT, LET THEM BURN!!!

    PS: – for my friends of SEBIN: this is of course figure speech, a metaphor, a way to explain a concept; no one wants Maduro to get any closer to the fire than he already is… getting some BBQ at palacio while the country is at the verge of a humanitarian crisis. You understand, don’t come to my house trying to get me out of the bachaquero line to drop me in some calabozo. Stick to the BBQ for your presi and staying alive in the barrio. Perhaps you would like to help to have less criminals being lynched and indeed get torched by angry mobs. Take care…

  6. VenezWasteland
    (with apologies to t.s. eliot)

    A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
    And the dead President gives no shelter, the Bus Driver no relief,
    And the dry dam no sound of water.
    There is shadow in this empty shop.
    (Come in to the shadow of this empty shop),
    And I will show you something different from either
    The shadow of a motorizado riding behind you
    Or a malandro in the evening rising to fleece you;
    I will show you fear in a land gone bust.

  7. A comment left by a reader on the Miami Herald editorial suggests the Venezuelan government soon will be requiring citizens to seek permission to leave the country. Has anyone else heard about this?


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