There’s something deeply chilling about witnessing a dictatorship at close quarter. This morning on Globovisión, PSUV Assembly Member and erudite, Luis Soteldo put forward the new propaganda line against Yon Goicoechea, Venezuela’s newest high-profile political prisoner:

The ass-clown bullshit can use some decoding. I’ve put the subtext after each bit of propaganda.

“It has been fully proven that he had explosives in his car” (“No one’s seen said explosives, but Diosdado Cabello talked about them at a rally yesterday so obviously it must be true”).

“We will respect his due process under the law.” (“I don’t really know what this means.”)

“He received training from the U.S. Government during his stay abroad and has now come back to Venezuela with terrorist motives.” (“I’m doing such a good job with this script.”)

On how Yon got a hold of C4 if its all technically controlled by the ministry of defense

Obviously he sneaked it in though a trocha.” (“note to self: look into what else the ministry of defense does.)

On what proof he has to assert that the opposition’s September 1st march will be violent:

“Every single opposition march is violent.” (“Man, I can do this in my sleep”.)

On why the government is calling on a counter-protest on September 1st:

“Our march is not for confrontation. Our march seeks to stabilize the country.” (“Nothing like a good round of firing public employees to get people to do our bidding.”)

On why drones were banned from the September 1st march:

“We are concerned about snipers.” (“I need aerial shots of the crowds on Thursday like I need a hole in my head.”)

On why the Catholic church should stay out of politics but the military shouldnt:

“The military has a constitutional right to participate in politics. We need to consensuate (sic.) a hegemony of love.” (I just came up with that word.”)

On why Venezuela keeps selling oil to the U.S despite evidence of a coup plot:

“We have diplomatic relations with countries that respect us.” (“I got nothing.”)

On why there are political prisoners in Venezuela:

“There are no political prisoners in Venezuela. Only politicians who are in prison. (“Soteldo, out.”)

Planting evidence on Yon Goicoechea brings chavismo to unimagined new depths of debasement. This is an episode we must never forget.



Caracas Chronicles is 100% reader-supported. Support independent Venezuelan journalism by making a donation.


  1. How even an idiot reconciles proposition number one (“it has been fully proven”) and proposition number two (he will have “due process”) with a straight face, I have no idea. Sometimes justifications are so inept they are admissions.

  2. “We have diplomatic relations with countries that respect us.”

    If that were the case, there would be about 10-15 Venezuelan Embassies worldwide. Which may well be an overestimate.

  3. Off topic : from a Brazilian newsletter : ‘Citibank renunció a seguir siendo el principal agente pagador de los bonos emitidos por Petróleos de Venezuela, según una notificación enviada a los tenedores de los títulos de la petrolera. La decisión, que está fechada el 14 de julio de 2016, comenzó a llegar a los depositarios, custodios, intermediarios y tenedores de los papeles la semana pasada. …’ …The Fun Begins ….!!

    • Indeed. When the last dollar floats out of the door, then the real festivities start. Can’t pay your goons with IOU’s!

      • When Pdvsa is in the midst of an exercise to attempt to convince its bondholders to allow for an swap of those bonds which are payable short term for others which are payable in 2019, this decision by Citi to abandon its role as payment agent of Pdvsa’s bonds (a very telling decision ) wont help things !! For one thing how do you replace them , the same reasons they had to abandon the job will make finding a credible replacement a very hard task….!! Im afraid we must prepare ourselves for further bad news on the financial front !!

        • I’d be interested if somebody could explain the significance of abandoning the role of a payment agent for a bond issuer. I mean, either the payments are paid or they aren’t, no? Why does the agent care? Does the agent incur some sort of liability on the bond default, or is the concern simply one of the ability to recover its own transaction fees in that event? If its the latter, don’t the banks take care of this on the front end? Like the lawyers?

          • if Pdvsa defaults its going to get very ugly and messy for anyone who stands in the middle …….banks dont like that sort of thing …maybe some of their customers get burned and they start getting aggresive towards whoever is left holding the empty bag…..!! If you know anything about lawyers its that when it comes to any financial disaster there is a general feeling of grievance on the part of their clients and they sue everybody in sight !!

  4. For the record…the initial reports were not that Yon Goicoechea had explosives, but that he had detonation cord. So, exactly what is that?

    “Detonating cord (also called detonation cord, detacord, det. cord, detcord, primer cord or sun cord) is a thin, flexible plastic tube usually filled with pentaerythritol tetranitrate (PETN, pentrite)…”

    To the inexperienced eye, virtually any thin plastic tubing (or even insulated electrical wire) could look like detcord. The claim that he had explosives came later.

  5. It always amazes me how information goes from “It is suspected that…”, all the way to “It is has been proven that…” in less than a day.

  6. Yongo could go to jail for several years for being found in posession of explosives and / or detonators. I guesss the rrrrrregimen will use the terroist laws in this case.

    Never mind Emiliana, your strong language and hysterical overreaction to this waste-of-time spoiled brat will soon be forgotten. If you are living in Venezuela watch out that they do nto come for you as you are one of the bright sparks who maintains that there is no “freedom of expression” in Venezuela”

    There will be no referndum this year…………if ever..

  7. This snake called Soteldo is simply another Chavistoide crook. And another blatant liar. These clowns must be very well paid by the corrupt PSUV.

    They just regurgitate obvious lies, because they are paid for it, and they have no soul or conscience. “terrorists” “compañeros” “imperialistas” “explosives in his car”.. how much crap can these Thieves dish out of their mouths?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here