Presenting the Golden Tropical Mierda Awards

As this wonderful year comes to an end, we pay tribute to those moments that made Tropical Mierda great again.

Illustration by Adriana Moreno

Best action sequence

Venezuelan politics is not just BS, promises, and BS promises. Sometimes we get some good old fashioned Leslie Nielsen style action sequences.

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner is:

Maduro vs Villa Rosa

Best Conspiranoic theory of the Year

Conspiranoia is an essential element of 21st century Cuckoo Socialism.

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner is:

Miguel Salazar’s “Chávez was murdered by Naomi Campbell & Sean Penn”

Public Policy of the year

No one really remembers what the hell a “public policy” is, but here’s an attempt at nominating four strange events that may have something to do with the so called concept of “public policy:”

And the Winner is:

La Hora de la Salsa

Best Communist moment

How does one get ultimate I’m-living-in-communism bragging rights? It may have something to do with the systemic collapse of institutions down to  their most basic functions, or the shameless spiral of corruption, or insane leader-worshiping, or complete loss of priorities and humanity and dignity…

These are the nominees for most relevant moment that made us feel that we’re living under true communist rule:

And the Winner is:

GNB apprehends boy who stole five pumpkins

Best Juan de Foc? moment

(Because “WTF?” is just too damn first world for us)

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner is:

Maduro’s conga line with the Prime Minister of Trinidad & Tobago

Plank Face of the Year award

Plank facing, caraetablismo, understood as the art of going about your business treating people like pendejos without giving two fucks, has become a national sport by now. Everybody practices it.

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner is:

Government apprehends physician who was receiving medicine donations for hospitals

Recule of the year

Retracing your steps to take back something you did or said could be considered a key quality of a strong leader. Venezuela is like a constant episode of El Chavo in permanent chispoteo.

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner is:

Fuck you Capriles and Ocariz. [signed, Emi.]

We-were-Many-and-Then-the-Grandmother-Gave-Birth Moment of the Year

It has been established that there is no depth that Venezuela cannot reach. But every once in a while, there is that moment where you just let your jaw drop one more time and say “hot dang, the only thing that hasn’t happened yet is a shower of excrements,” and suddenly, out of nowhere, some turds do start falling from the sky.

Here are the nominees for the Éramos Muchos y Parió la Abuela moment of the year award:

And the Winner is:

Guri goes dry (Click here to see how this was solved)

Venezuelan Politician of the year

Venezuela has a generous quarry of young, forward thinking, smart, and efficient politicians.

Here are the nominees for Venezuelan politician of the year:

  • Hector Rodríguez 
  • Henry Ramos Allup
  • Delsa Solórzano
  • José Guerra

And the Winner is:

Omar Vizquel

Biggest Bluff of the Year:

Here are the nominees:

And the Winner for Biggest Bluff of the Year is: