El ecosonograma no deja lugar a dudas: se nos viene una pequeña Anabellita. Ya su papá le compró su primer pequeño par de gomas (=”zapatos de goma” en el maracucho rajado que usa cuando no anda en plan de abogado.) Rosados, obviously.

La verdad es que me genera particular emoción tener una niña…y también bastante preocupación.

No, no me preocupa que mi hija juegue con carritos o GI Joes. Me preocupa es enseñarla a que se haga respetar como mujer y como ser humano. El machismo es una realidad que se vive a diario y me preocupa el impacto que las bases machistas de nuestra sociedad puedan tener sobre la visión que mi hija tendrá del mundo.

Creo que muchas mujeres podemos hacer un mejor trabajo que muchos hombres sin que por eso seamos menos mujeres o menos femeninas

Fui criada por dos padres muy trabajadores que me impulsaron a desarrollarme académica y profesionalmente. Pero también crecí en una sociedad en que muchas mujeres estudiaban para hacer tiempo “mientras me caso” (MMC); en una sociedad en que desde que tenía 20 ó 21 años me preguntaban “¿y cómo va el tema de los novios?´” o si tenías novio “¿para cuándo la boda? ¿Para cuándo los chamos?”; y la presión de que “la mujer será juzgada por la manera en que atienda su casa”.

Aplaudo el compromiso de las mujeres que deciden enfocarse en sus familias, pero si mi niñita lo que quiere es seguir en el mundo profesional sé que se va a topar con muchas cosas.

Aunque me gustaría que mi hija decidiera tener una familia, no quiero que se sienta presionada por la sociedad sobre cuándo y con quién empezarla. Yo quiero que explore el mundo y pueda tomar sus propias decisiones.

Quiero que mi hija sepa que no es más o menos por ser llamada por el masculino o femenino: Licenciado o Licenciada, Doctor o Doctora, etc. Y quiero que sepa que merece el mismo respeto que todos los hombres, independientemente de su cargo.

Siendo honesta, me sigo preguntando ¿por qué es costumbre que, al llegar a una reunión de trabajo y conocer a nuevos profesionales, a los hombres los saludan con un fuerte saludo de mano y a las mujeres deciden saludarnos de beso y abrazo? Resulta molesto. Quiero que cuando mi hija entre en una sala de reunión, le presenten a los colegas con respeto y que ella decida cuando quiera saludar a sus amigos con un abrazo cariñoso.

Sin que me quede nada por dentro, creo que muchas mujeres podemos hacer un mejor trabajo que muchos hombres más cotizados, sin que por eso seamos menos mujeres o menos femeninas. Y no podemos seguir permitiendo que a un hombre de carácter lo cataloguen como “fuerte”, mientras que una mujer de carácter la cataloguen de “neurótica” o incluso “loca”. No quiero que mi hija sienta que todo lo que implica ser mujer, incluyendo las maravillas de la madre naturaleza que le permitirían ser mamá si así lo quisiera, son una limitante o definen nuestro carácter.

Quiero que mi hija sepa que no es más o menos por ser llamada por el masculino o femenino

Yo quiero apoyar a mi hija independientemente de si decide ser abogado, economista, ingeniero, sociólogo o educador; pero quiero que sepa que puede llegar a ser Presidente de la República.

Y no es fácil: en el mundo profesional las mujeres hemos venimos dando una fuerte pelea -faltando aún mucho por lograr. Pero en la política nacional pocas mujeres se han logrado posicionar y creo que debemos seguir luchando por cambiar eso. Me pregunto si eso habrá cambiado cuando mi hija llegue a la edad de votar o a sus 40 años…y pensar en la Venezuela del 2057 me da algo de vértigo. Quiero que mi hija pueda postularse a un cargo público si tiene la vocación y las ganas, y no para cubrir una cuota de género. Quiero que mi hija sepa que en sus manos está cambiar la sociedad para bien.

Quiero lo mismo que cualquier mamá: que mi hija sea feliz y crezca sana… y quiero que esa felicidad dependa de sus propias decisiones y no de la necesidad de tener que complacerme a mí, al papá o a nadie en particular.

Pro-Tip

  • Haga compras unisex. La ropa unisex y unicolor facilitará la lavada de ropa y se podrá usar en futuros hijos, sin importar su sexo. Los coches, cunas, pañaleras y otros productos de relativo alto costo se pueden usar también para los futuros hermanitos de la bebé.

Tarea de la Semana

  • Imagine cómo quiere que sea la vida de su hija y piense en qué puede hacer para intentar alcanzar una sociedad más justa y menos machista.

It’s a Girl!

Lil’ Anabellita’s coming and her daddy already bought her a first pair of gomas —“shoes” in the maracucho slang he uses when he doesn’t have to be a lawyer. Pink, obviously.

The truth is that I’m particularly excited about having a girl… and concerned too.

No, I don’t care if the girl likes to play with cars or G.I. Joes. I care about teaching her to respect herself as a woman and as a human being. Chauvinism is a daily reality and I’m concerned about the impact that the misogynistic foundations of our society might have on my daughter’s vision about the world.

I keep asking myself why, upon arriving to a work meeting and meet new professionals, men greet each other with a strong handshake while women hug and kiss?

I was raised by two hardworking parents who inspired me to pursue my academic and professional career. But I also grew up in a society where many women studied only to buy some time “until I get married;” in a society where I was constantly asked since I was 20 or 21 years old “Where’s your boyfriend?” or if I already had a boyfriend “When are you getting married? When are you having children?;” and the pressure of the idea that “a woman will be judged by the way she takes care of her home.”

I applaud the commitment of women who decide to focus on their families, but if my girl wishes to develop in the professional world, I know she’ll have to face many difficult situations.

Even though I’d like my daughter to start a family at some point, I don’t want her to feel pressured by society as to when and with whom she should do it. I want her to explore the world and to make up her own mind.

I think many women could do a better job than many men, regardless of fame, without being considered less feminine.

I want my daughter to know that the gender they use to address her at work isn’t important: Licenciado o Licenciada, Doctor o Doctora…I want her to know that she deserves the same respect as any man, regardless of her post.

To be completely candid, I keep asking myself why, upon arriving to a work meeting and meet new professionals, men greet each other with a strong handshake while women hug and kiss? I find it bothersome. I want my daughter to be greeted with respect in any meeting, and that she can hug her friends whenever she feels like it.

Frankly, I think many women could do a better job than many men, regardless of fame, without being considered less feminine. And we can’t keep allowing that a man with character is called “strong”, while a woman with character is considered “neurotic” or even “crazy”. I don’t want my daughter to feel that womanhood, even the nature-given wonder of having the chance of becoming mothers if we so choose, is a limitation for us or defines who we are in any way.

I want to support my daughter regardless of whether she wants to be a lawyer, an economist, an engineer, a sociologist or a teacher; but I want her to know that she can become even become President of the Republic.

And it’s not easy: we women have been giving a good fight in the professional world —and there’s a lot to accomplish still. But few women in national politics have managed to position themselves and I firmly believe we need to keep fighting to change that. I wonder if that will have changed when my daughter reaches voting age or is in her 40’s… And thinking about Venezuela in 2057 makes me dizzy. I want my daughter to be able to run for public office if she has the vocation and the desire to, not to cover gender quotas. I want my daughter to know that the capacity to change this society for the better is in her hands.

I want the same every mother wants: for my daughter to be happy and grow healthy… and I want that happiness to depend solely on her own decisions and not on the need to please me, her dad or anybody else.

Pro-Tip

  • Buy unisex. Unisex and unicolor clothing will make it easier for you to wash them, and they’ll be available for future children, regardless of their sex. Strollers, cradles, diaper bags and other relatively expensive products can also be used for future brothers for the baby.

Weekly Assignment

  • Imagine how you want your daughter to live and think about what you can do to try and reach a fairer, less misogynistic society.

13 COMMENTS

  1. Please stop this dumb series. Nobody cares! Believe me, you are not the first woman to get pregnant. Open a blog or post it on Facebook, there you will receive the responses that you are looking for: lame blessings from other moms. This is not the kind of place to post this.

  2. CCS Chronicles is a now a mommy blogger kind of thing? this is beyond embarrassing!…I have the feeling this stuff is all a well thought scheme of getting us to pay +400 US$ a year to get good content…

  3. Carlos and Hermy… go f**** you! Nobody cares what you think (strong word that one to use for whatever happen through your empty heada)

  4. Wondering what the difficult part of understanding the relevance of this is. She’s not mommyblogging, it’s a social and human interest piece from a very personal perspective. People like Carlos and Hermy comment like the rest of the blog is impartial and not at all politics or economy from the personal/professional perspective of the writers.

    And Venezuela IS a ridiculously sexist society. I think it’s great that CC has at least one place where it can be brought out and discussed a bit. The last time I remember that happening most of the comments were despairing over the nerve to say anything about how bad sexism is when other things are also wrong.

  5. Delighted to see CC broaden its scope of subjects to include the musings of a young soon to be mother about what that means to her on a daily basis , specialy when these are the musings of very bright and talented journalist like Naky ,,,,,,Kudos to her and her husband for making us share in her personal mother to be experiences and reflexions (and of course on being blessed with the joy of bringing a new child to the world) .

    I am the very happy father of a daughter who is a very dedicated professional and (at least for me) a very admirable human being ……, there is this very compassionate but also very level headed side to her that makes me proud of being her father ……a joy I share with my life long and much beloved wife whom I feel priviledged to share my life wife even if she is the total hausfrau and not the least inclined to nurture any heavy professional ambitions ……., maybe a generational thing.

    I do feel that sometimes nowadays silent pressure is put on girls to become aggresively professional and superbly masterful in the pursuit a career even when thats not their spontaneous personal preference , as if there is somekind of competition with men to show that women can be better more ruthlesstly assertive than men and as if assuming a traditional maternal child raising and housekeeping role is demeaning and belittiling ……and Im not sure whether thats altogether fair.

    We all welcome that in todays world there all these wonderful women rising to become well regarded professionals and leaders ………, the world is in strong need for such women, but lets not railroad all women to want to take up professional interests that may be they personally are not attracted to ……..lets be open to the idea that there is more than oneway to achieve complete womanhood…!!

  6. Raising a child in Venezuela, as free citizen, is a challenge. How do you raise them without being despondent and shrill abotu their own rights, let alone other people’s rights, if all they see around them is the triumph of violence and expediency.

    And a baby woman, no less? Much more of a challenge.

    We are, as a society, growing old rapidly. So having a child, purposedly and rationally, is an act of sheer willful hope. And raising a woman is an enormous responsabilty.

    So I find this series not only refreshing, but also the most Patriotic and necessary thing right now!

  7. Felicidades por este Blog al que llegue por casualidad, soy Maria Alicia prima de Carlos Alberto, me encantó leerte, buscaré las otras entradas. Ah y felicidades por esa princesa…

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