Este Mamagüevo

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We here at Caracas Chronicles take our journalistic coverage of Venezuela around the world very seriously. Which is why we couldn’t close out the week without bringing you this joyful gem of a patriotic headline hailing all the way from Canberra, Australia.

LANDLORD PUNCHED IN FACE BY VENEZUELAN SKIER CESAR BAENA OVER UNPAID RENT FOR EMBASSY IN CANBERRA

As it happens, the Embassy of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela in Canberra hasn’t paid its rent for months and now owes $50,748 in backpay to a frustrated, 74-year old landlord. In what should be hailed as the year’s best escrache, the landlord used a large truck, a blue pickup, a bobcat and a tractor to block access to the outside of the embassy and the front door of the official residence to demand payment. Cue spectacular douchebag and Venezuela’s Second Most Famous Bad Cross-Country Skier, César Baena, who was shacking up at the Embassy because he “is in Australia to train for next year’s Winter Olympics” in a country known for its frosty, snowy terrain and clearly on his own dime. He punched the senior citizen landlord in the face.

Some choice highlights from Australia’s Daily Telegraph:

“[The Venezuelan Embassy] are behind with the rent and I can’t get an answer which would make common sense from them,” he explained. “The guy who (allegedly) assaulted me told me it was Venezuela’s property, but it is not their property, me and my wife own it.”

Meanwhile, Mr Baena (…) did not shirk from the allegations when contacted by The Daily Telegraph.

“(I said to him) ‘please take that out, that is my country, you are totalling disrespecting our sovereignty (and) he said ‘you are not getting what you want’,” Mr Baena recalled.

“So I punch him in the face. I could give my life to my country if necessary.”

Defending our sovereignty is a new venture for Mr. Baena. Normally he’s been engaged in an illustrious career as an olympic intern. He boasts of being “the only Venezuelan to have been chosen as a volunteer for the 2004 Athens Olympics” (he worked the equestrian gig), worked an unpaid internship with the 2006 Turin Winter Olympics Press Dept., wasn’t invited to the 2010 Vancouver Games, and finally tagged along for the 2014 Sochi games as the symbolic “captain” of the squad after failing to qualify, writing a letter to President Putin whining for not being given a slot on the olympic team, and blaming then-Sports Minister Hector Rodriguez for not backing him. Rodríguez refused to fund his training on grounds that “his sport was very uncommon in Venezuela,” adding that he could not back a rollerskier for a snow event. Baena also trains Venezuela’s First Most Famous Bad Skier and fellow-receiver-of-dubious-funding, Adrian Solano.

Also, did you know that we had a Winter Sports Federation?

Needless to say, this assclown is a professed chavista, who dedicated his rolllersking Guiness World Record to El Comandantepals around with the ZurdaKonducta crowd and gets interviewed by RT.

Earlier this year, Baena took to Twitter to complain about not being given enough press coverage for his accomplishments.

We know CaracasChronicles might seem like small potatoes compared to SIBCI and all its communicational power, but we’re happy to broadcast his story so that César Baena may get the proper recognition he deserves, as the biggest mamagüevo in Australia.

Our mamagüevo.

47 COMMENTS

  1. “Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition…”
    Que Payaso. I guess he want’s diplomatic immunity as well.

  2. People like that are the ones giving Venezuelans a bad reputation. All it takes is a couple of persons with such behaviour to bring down the reputation of 100 wel behaved ones.

  3. Expelling the ambassador and severing diplomatic relations would at least get this guy back his building.
    Most likely the regime has issued him diplomatic immunity (although there are different levels of immunity) and the jerk probably won’t be prosecuted.
    Embassies and ambassadors are protected under international law.
    The millions of dollars in parking fines that have been amassed in New York City from vehicles with diplomatic plates ignoring parking regulations has been a long time frustration.
    The opening of each assembly of the UN is like hell week for other drivers.
    The Aussie government should make the landlord whole and require reimbursement from the regime.
    That is if the regime has any money left after rebuilding Cuba.

  4. Not to excuse the guy or anything but this sounds like something…an Australian would do (i.e. go to a foreign country to ski, couch surf and punch a landlord in the face).

    • But Canadians can’t hold a candle to the Brits in satirizing the Aussies. Consider monty python bruces. I had an Aussie geology professor who told a joke at the beginning of each class- usually about Aggies (Texas A&M). After all, he was lecturing at UT-Austin. Had he lectured in College Station, he would have told Tea-Sipper (UT) jokes. One day I placed a joke on the lectern. The next lecture he read my joke to the class. As the joke riffed on the Aussie stereotypes of having an inordinate fondness for sheep and for being drunks (dissertation on “Optimization of Auto-Inebriation Processes”), that Aussie prof was a good sport. BTW, in the US, similar sheep jokes are told about Montana and Wyoming.

      My experience of Aussies is that they are world travelers, and well-behaved ones at that. I never met an Aussie who created a problem, which is not what I could say about those from Scotland (drank Aussies under the table. At least in the oilfield.) or Quebec.

      As this posting points out, Chavistas need no satirizing. Straight reporting is sufficient. No satire can outdo reality here.

      • Indeed. I was partly raised in Oz, and one thing I know about the Aussies is, they don’t mind a ribbing in good fun, so long as its not coming from a bloody pom (i.e. Englishman).

  5. There’s something interesting about Venezuela’s internal dynamics if you compare this post to the Panama one.

    PSUV: “LANDLORD PUNCHED IN FACE BY VENEZUELAN OVER UNPAID RENT”

    MUD (from the other post): “I took like four packs of toilet paper in the supermarket and a couple next to me giggled because there’s no toilet paper in Venezuela. They asked me how many years did I go without using it. I went home and cried myself to sleep.”

    They seem to be either too raw, brash, in your face, rough, streetwise, or too delicate spoiled sunflowers raised by their grandmas who can’t stand people laughing at them.

    No wonder what side is winning.

    If only the delicate ones could move a bit away from being political correct leftists, they wouldn’t be such an easy prey in this world. Of course, to hit your landlord in the face is not something required, but to be a violet petal at the mercy of the winds isn’t something desired either.

    These two posts reflect Venezuela’s politics in a nutshell. Thanks, CC.

    • Hey Marc, you’re sounding pretty delicate and lefty yourself in failing to see the obvious problem that none of these people is allowed to purchase and carry an assault weapon, no? Where’s Ira? Where’s Gringo?…

      • This was too ridiculous to even comment on.

        But it was typical Chavista behavior, which is the same as so many here that claim to be anti-Chavista.

        Don’t like what you’re hearing? Lash out, play the victim, and curse the opposing point of view.

      • What do assault weapons have to do with it?

        All the landlord needed was a revolver, so he could blow the bastard’s head off. But Australia has ridiculous, restrictive gun laws.

        A punch to the head can kill someone. (It’s not usually the punch; it’s hitting your head as you fall.)

        But if you think people shouldn’t have a right to defend themselves, move to Venezuela. You’ll just LOVE it there!

        I prefer Florida, because no one dares attack my safety without consequence.

      • It’s great suffering, Emi.

        Actually, next week I’m travelling to Europe just to visit relatives, as my family is divided between two continents.

        But my point is, why one side of Venezuela seems to be so strong — would César Baena cry himself to sleep if people laughed at him buying toilet rolls? –, while the other side seems to be so frail and vulnerable? I think that this is an important debate to have. It’s a war between lions and zebras. Nothing to do with bearing arms, as MUD wouldn’t support people carrying guns anyway, but a matter of mentality/attitude in the first place.

      • You think being a oafish asshole that embarasses a whole nation is being strong, while being desperate and crying after being humilliated (twice, by the idiots laughing and by the assholes that destroyed the country forcing you to flee) is weak?

        If you want to know why the world doesnt work and why we end up with idiots like the Chavista, this cult of fake macho bullshit is one of the reasons.

    • “They seem to be either too raw, brash, in your face, rough, streetwise, or too delicate spoiled sunflowers raised by their grandmas who can’t stand people laughing at them. ”

      One thing is that random people harrass and mock you for something completely out of your control and power. (Your “delicate petals”)

      And another thing is to be faced by somebody whose life you probably ruined with all the possible intent due to some crime you comitted. (The rural “macho latino”)

      Chavismo is hated not only because their bosses are criminal douchebags, it’s because they decided to charge against the most defenseless segment of the population with no actual reason whatsoever for doing so other than to get a scapegoat for their political convenience.

      Una cosa es que gente aleatoria se burle y te acose por algo completamente fuera de tu control y poder. (Tus “petalitos delicaditos”)

      Y otra es que te encare alguien cuya vida jodiste con toda alevosía por un crimen que cometiste (El “macho rural latino”)

      El chavismo es odiado no solo porque sus jefes sean unos mama*****s, es porque decidieron arremeter contra el segmento más indefenso de la población sin otra razón más que conseguir un chivo expiatorio para su conveniencia política.

    • The drugs lords (the un-governemt in VZ) always win – I don’t care what’s unofficial name is, but the drug dealers rule most of Latin America. It’s been like for centuries. Too many human beings (?) just want get high.

      • They win because they have more guns.

        And also because the infiltrate and seize the government, making it illegal to lift a finger against criminals because “that’s attacking the people”

  6. “[The Venezuelan Embassy] are behind with the rent and I can’t get an answer which would make common sense from them,”

    Sorry, pal, we know your pain. Is not only you, no chavista has ever said anything that mad any common sense to any question by anybody.

  7. in Australian Senor Baena can try kangaroo, koala, and wombat, before he gets to return to Venezuela. I have heard, they taste similar rabbit.

  8. This guy better be prosecuted.

    I have to admit, this made me laugh ““So I punch him in the face. I could give my life to my country if necessary.”

    As if punching some senior citizen in the face is some kind of noble sacrifice for his country. These people are too much…

  9. I never met an Aussie I didn’t love. And I don’t think an Aussie exists who doesn’t deserve love and respect.

    The greatest people on earth.

  10. all good until you talked about the “other skier” getting money from the goverment…. nope. Get your stoty szraigh dude. Makes me doubt what you wrote (although I would defenetly belive it!!!!). PS: NADIE le tiene mas arrechera a ese gobierno de mierda que yo, pero estoy de acuerdo en destruir esta gente basado en los (muchisimos) hechos. Una vez mas, me parece que cometes un error al implicar al otro guevon.

  11. I´m only interested in why the laws do not protect the landlord. Has Baena political immunity? If so, how long would it take to the landlord? Is there anything he can do? It´s Australia, I would have gone with the police and lawyers.

    • Baena surely has enchufado impunity, he must have already left Australia to escape from the consequences of his stupidity, assault is often punished with fines and prison in every civilized country, and that miserable sack of slime doesn’t look like the kind of person that would accept any responsibility so he will run away like a good coward chaveco.

    • “The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said issues between diplomatic staff and their landlords were best negotiated directly and said it would not intervene. But Mr Gasparri-Rey said he was negotiating with the landlord through the ­Department of Foreign Affairs about the various vehicles that remain blocking his residence and the embassy.”

  12. Can’t see the rest of story.. how does it end? Is arrested? Did the owner get paid? Do the tenents get booted?

    PS: I expect this gentleman’s grandson will be paying senor Baena an Aussie cordiality visit.

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