Off-his-meds Chronicles (updated)


“It wouldn’t be strange to find out that Mars had a civilization, but then perhaps capitalism came, imperialism came, and laid the planet to waste.”

Hugo Chávez today, showing that, on the Crazy Autocrat scale, from 0 to 1,000, he’s operating at about 700 miligaddaffis.

Update: Here’s the video.

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  1. Damn, and I was thinking that the Fat Evil Cheese-named Alien Invaders exterminated the planet and their natural inhabitants, the Biker Mice, making it a barren planet. or you know, the natural circumstance of the planet. Thanks for your illuminating perspective, Micomediante en Jeque!

  2. Is he crazy? Yes. But I don’t think he says these things because he is crazy. He is not talking to you or me; who are educated, bilingual (at least) and well-traveled. This is an indoctrinating message sent out to the less-educated masses.

    I will not venture to guess how these masses react to it – been out of Vzla for too long now to get a real sense. I hope they have by now learned to ignore him, but somehow I suspect they are still eating it up.

    • Here’s a clue to how the masses take it: They keep electing him over and over again.

      That message is definitely for the inhabitants of San Constinfacio de Cochino Frito.

  3. For the longest time I thought Mi Teniente Coronel was playing the buffoon, that he didn’t actually believe the crazier stuff he said and that he just threw out stupid things because they played well with the masses. However, the Gaddafi mess has shown me that he really is as crazy as he sounds and that he has actually begun to believe his really crazy ramblings. Don’t be surprised if in the run-up to 2012 we see him telling everyone about subjects ranging from an interesting new mole he found on his forearm to having actually made contact with the Communist alien overlords.

  4. “”Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.”

    Never mind the effects of population growth on depletion of resources. So is good old making love, and having children, a sin attributable to capitalism? ¿Será que el hombre nuevo del socialismo del siglo XXI es gay chico?

  5. If this gets a little big, i’d love to see Chavez’s buffoons reactions. They’ll say it’s a fake video,he said it with sarcasm,it was a joke,a very serious joke.

    Then the great “Simoncito” space program will arise, with the first manned mission to Mars, to find out what cause the end of martian civilization,wich will probably be USA.

    • Little by little, IVIC’s mission will morph into the Bureau for Investigating Chavista Hallucinations:

      Bolivar’s murder…the CIA’s conspiracy to destroy martian civilization…that gringo weapon that caused the earthquake in Haiti…the bi-directional DirecTV system…

      Plenty of work for them.

  6. C’mon JC. Do you think that we are as stupid as you imagine? Chávez said this Mars thing at least four years ago. The problem is that you are so narrow minded that you take it literally when it is just a simple example to illustrate what capitalism can do in extreme circumstances.

    In fact you all get sucked into what Chávez says – whether it is tongue in cheek or serious. Man, you really are all desperate and you’ve been doing this from September or October 2002.

    • Exactly! One example: capitalism brought up the space shuttle. XXI Century socialism created vertical chicken coops. No comparison.

    • After 12 years we see that Chavismo has laid waste to Venezuela, even before the socialism became extreme.

      If another president said this in a serious country he would be locked up in the nut house. But the only things serious in Venezuela are inflation, crimes, unemployment, decaying educational and government institutions, etc.

    • Did he really say the Mars thing four years ago too? What’s striking about the video is that he’s not got his joke face on. He looks pretty serious to me.

    • Rest assured. We try NOT to take his WHOLE farce too seriously.

      We know this IS NOT a Revolution of any sort.

      Just a bunch of extremely corrupt military and equally corrupt apparatchiks, with a smattering of some recently corrupted genuine revolutionaries, living the high life off oil wealth and working half-assedly on some pet projects from their socialist fantasies.

      The consequences of all that, we take seriously. They are dire.

      However, there was a thing like seriousness in a President. What he says and decides has consequences. Some measure is required. Me, I would reduce every President to Head Buffoon and strip them of their powers to ruin lives. But you should value seriousness a bit more, given that you would give him all the power.

  7. Seriously, Chavez says things like this because he loves the ripples of his stupidity. Basically he says whatever comes to his mind in the moment and laughs about the opposition foaming through their mouths while his supporters celebrate his lucid comments to help the poor understand the basics of socialism. One more idiotic comment among the hundreds, perhaps thousands delivered by our disgraceful apprentice dictator.

  8. Exactly.

    The red clowns talk about environmental destruction as a problem to capitalism exclusively, completely ignoring that the Soviet Union is responsible for the worst environmental catastrophes of the 20th C. They pretty much drained the Aral Sea, turned the Caspian Sea into a sewer, over-exploited most of their wildlife, etc. Yet the red sheep keep repeating that environmental destruction = capitalism like drones.

    They just repeat the dogma without any consideration to the fact that any system based on perpetual growth in a finite biosphere (no matter who owns the means of production) is gonna face resource depletion eventually.

  9. As the noose tightens on Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi , his Venezuelan “brother”, thousands of miles away, feels the burn. Yet, rather than cry out in filial solidarity, Chávez, ever the megalomaniac, devises a defensive ring around him. He projects an aura of mental instability. Think Rudolph Hess In other words, there’s a method to the Chávez’ mania.


      The Libyan authorities have started distributing weapons among the civilian population so that they can also resist the foreign intervention.

      A statement to that effect came from Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, who stressed that the country is now preparing for a long war and its residents will fight against the western coalition for every inch of their land.

  10. I think he is just feeding the opposition something to talk about. The people on his side would probably shrug it off, laugh about it and forget it. On the other side we will think we are dealing with a crazy dumb ass and maybe make the huge mistake of lowering the guard yet AGAIN. I do agree with the fact that he probably is going crazy but that is miles away from him not calculating his moves.
    He is already turning around the whole hunger strike thing…

  11. As much as I think he is a clown (hell it even worked for Bush being a guy voters would like to have a beer with), I reckon sometimes this may be intentional to divert attention. We should check carefully the next Gaceta Oficial carefully to see what they’ve done while everyone has been talking about Mars.

    But then again I may be thinking too much and it’s all pura mariquera.

    • I also agree with CapitanKane. On some weird level I would love to split a case of beer with Polar over a long BBQ and have him just….. talk Yeah, then we could go to the Riviera listen to some tunes. I mean Hugo would be a man who could understand the big dream, and help me find a 425 Wildcat engine for the Riviera, up on blocks for 12 years…. but dude the radio still works.

  12. Agreed with CapitanKane. This guy’s job is to distract, and provoque. To have the opposition reading betwwen the lines trying to figure out the whys of his behaviour, commenting on his latest burrada, meanwhile in the back, the real puppetmasters embezzle and destroy the moral and social fabric that could fundamentally challenge their invasion. A menos que nos pongamos serios y entendamos quien el enemigo es, y el tamano del compromiso, seguirmeos balinado su musiquita. Case in point, cuanto falta ya hasta la rumba de semana santa???

    • My biggest disappointment comes when I look at the big part of the opposition that still thinks this guy is a clown and a dumb-ass, because even if he was, what would that say about the people that oppose him? What sort of excuse can a person muster to still think this way? I find it incredibly hard to believe that after 12 years this way of thinking still get’s around.

      • You read any political post on noticias24 that has comments and everytime all the Chavista has to say is “Chavez los tiene locos!” and they’re absolutely right. Everyone’s busy looking at the clown while his mates pick their pockets.

  13. Can anybody explain to me what Hugo Chavez thinks he shares in common with Moammar Kadafi? Why dos Chavez think identifying with Kadafi enhance his standing to anybody. Kadafi is one of the least liked leaders in the world!

    • Who says that Chavez thinks that by aligning himself with Gadhafi will enhance his standing? I never heard this before. The reasion why Chavez supports Gadhafi is because the guy is anti imperialist. That’s about it and because Libya forms part of OPEC.

      In fact there a at least 20 pics in Internet – if you search for them – of Gadhafi being greeted by many Prime Ministers and Presidents. Blair, Brown, Mubarak, Berlusconi, Chirac, Chavez, Obama (in the UN) and many more.

      It is strange that Gadhafi has just suddently become so unpopular- but I guees that’s the power of the media which influences people with little gray matter and who believe that he is killing more people than the US is doind every day of the week. But still support the US.

      • OH NOES!!! It’s the global media conspiracy! “The media” isn’t a single entity set to brainwash us all, anyone that believes anything that infantile should be sent back to grade school. OF COURSE Gaddafi only became unpopular until recently and OF COURSE global leaders are hypocrites who made nice with him for his oil until he went off and murdered hundreds of people. However, once he murdered hundreds of people he became less popular than a bacon sandwich in Saudi Arabia, Hugo still continued to speak out in his favor. Either it’s because Gaddafi is “anti-imperialist” (although I don’t see what blowing up a Pan Am flight did to protect us from the imperialists) or because Hugo drank his own kool-aid. As for those with little grey matter, they are easy prey for outdated ideologies. Yes Arturo, I’m talking to you.


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