Good News, Everyone!


Venezuela hosts one of the world’s largest gold mines, and we know it’s going to be developed now because the concession is in the capable hands of:

That’s right, folks: ninth time’s a charm!

We haven’t been screwing this one up since the Leoni administration, we’ve just spent 47 years discovering eight different ways of exploiting Las Cristinas that won’t work.

Never mind all that. PDVSA’s the ticket. Nobody knows gold mining like PDVSA!

My only concern is that it could distract them from core competencies like making sneakers and letting food rot.

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  1. You missed some names there, starting with the Welser.
    I think there is a spell on that gold. Those Welser wanted to exploit it and ended up selling Indians and founding MA-RA-CAI-BO of all places! How wrong can one get?
    PDVSA is just following a tradition.

    • Well, actually those were the first and second unsuccessful foundations. The third and definite foundation of the city occurred in 1574 and it was done by Captain Pedro Maldonado.

    • Charles V just wanted a billion (millardito) Maravedís and thought the Welser could provide for a source and at the same time sell enough European food at reasonable prices and do all the rest for Venezuela’s sustainable development.

      He was more concerned with exporting Catholicism…he had the big picture in mind.

  2. Good news, indeed. And, now, like the disappearing of funds from Fonden, we we’ll see the disappearing of the … gold! into the international reserves of the revolution stalwarts, deposited in some foreign bank’s safe boxes. The last one to leave, please, turn the lights off.

  3. I’ve been trying to get my hands on a pair of those PDVSA shoes for years. They represent, to me, the quod errat demonstrandum of everything that’s really twisted and “double thinkish” about these guys. I mean, it’s like a kantian synthetic apriori. The “revolutionary shoes” are a rip off… Of Chuck Taylor’s Converse:
    Always has made me laugh. I can understand (kinda) people marching against capitalism and nipping into a McDonalds for a bite; they’re disoriented tools, whatever. But having the same government who spews vitriol towards everything coming from the US, copy a sneaker used by everyone, from Larry Bird to Tony Hawk, is in-sa-ne.

  4. Since PDVSA seems to be leaving the oil business, based on falling production and lack of new developments, maybe it’s time for a name change:
    ODVSA (oro)
    ADVSA (Alimentos)
    ZDVSA (Zapatillas)
    MDVSA (Mierda, kind of a catch all, pronounced mierdavesa)

    • PEMVSA, would be my vote. (Piazo ‘e Mierda VSA). Rhymes with MAVESA, which we’ll all need in order to digest the truth once the Chavez government falls.

  5. Good to hear that the powers that be are going to tap PDVSA’s expertise in gold mining. I’m surprised that the milicos or the FARC haven’t used PDVSA to assist in drug smuggling operations. After all, drilling operations have an intimate relationship with illegal drugs. There is a pusher on every rig ( tool pusher and tour pusher). The dope comes in five gallon cans (pipe dope). And the joints are thirty feet long (drilling pipe).

  6. I take this opportunity to remind the thousands of ex-PDVSA workers now living in exile for political reasons. Kudos for the only Venezuelans who have sacrificed their careers and are now living away from their families just because of their principles. By that time, not everyone was willing to lose their “bozal de arepa”, and now they all are suffering from the virtues of communism.

    • To be fair they are not the only ones that have made sacrifices but it could be the lose of expertise and dedication of the former PDVSA employees has costs Venezuela untold billions.

  7. To all,
    I am researching to write a biography on Dot Culver Lemon. One piece of vital missing information is why, and under what circumstances, the then GOV officially granted Lemon 25 Cristinas concessions. A popular but seemingly mostaken version is that Lemon’s husband (NFI) was Jimmie Angel’s copilot. Can anyone offer a substantiated version to explain the 1964 GOV action, or a means to discover official GOV records that might contain the official reason for the 1964 action in favor of Dot Culver Lemon???

    • Wow, this is some inside baseball you’re playing. I have no idea about this question, but I definitely want to read that biography…be in touch!


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