"Aló Presidente" Forever


Chávez-Aló-PresidenteThe final edition of Aló Presidente was broadcasted on January 29th, 2012, and the iconic weekly TV show, once described as The Realest Reality TV Show in the World, was one of Hugo Chávez’s best known trademarks.

Now, the best bits of all 378 programs will be seen every Sunday morning in VTV under the name: “Aló Comandante”. (Emiliana, for once, will watch it with nostalgia.)

But Nicolás Maduro won’t stick only to cadenas. He now has a TV show of his very own: “Diálogo Bolivariano” (Bolivarian Dialogue).

Ay papá…

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  1. Top five discarded titles for Nicolas Maduro’s new show:

    5. Valores Humanos, Excepto (Sorry, not here -GEHA) y Sifrinitos

    4. Nuestro Insólito Universo. (Pero sin libreto de Rafael Sylva Moreno, ni conducido por Porfirio Torres, sino con vainas verdaderamente locas como que Chávez le dijo a Cristo que el papa debería ser latinoamericano. Y, por su-porpuesto “conducido” por Nicolas Maduro. Get it? “Conducido,” as in ex bus driver.)

    3. The Embalming Roadshow

    2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: The Reality Show

    1. Teleprompter Today

    • Censorship! (Ojo, no soy yo el que lo dice, fue Maduro. And I’m sure that homophobia will continue to flow from his mouth like carbon dioxide sputters from a metrobus.)

  2. The Revolution Will Not Be Televised It Will be Live In Your Living Rooms!

    Rojo Rojito
    Gil Scott-Heron – The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

  3. Ta-na-to-crá-ti-ca (Tha-na-to-cra-tic): The New??? Era of the Cult of the Dead God. May his Corpse be with Us, Forever.

    • Oops, His Most Holy and Possibly Embalmed Corpse. His! He is a Deity now, He directs the election of Popes too, and appears to Isaías the Prophet.

  4. A Bolivarian Dialogue? The name implies a conversation involving two opposing or at least differing opinions. Except, that no opposition is permitted. This will be a “dialogue” with himself, perhaps? Maybe it should have been called “Masturbación Bolivariano”.

  5. dialogo: at least two people talk to each other
    monologo: one person speaks to an audience

    no señores this will be “soliloquio” (Maduro speaks a nation tunes out, remember the teacher in Peanuts? waaa wa wa waaaa wa wa)

    Soliloquio Bolivariano


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