Words-fail-me Chronicles


h6758CE88Nicolas Maduro creates a brand new Vice-Ministry for the “Supreme Social Happiness of the Venezuelan People”.

No, this is not from the Chigüire Bipolar. This is 100% real news. I don’t even…

Maximum trolling, anyone?

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  1. Unbelievable, unimaginable, astonishing, ridiculous, bizarre, incredible, outrageous, shocking, impossible, extreme, crazy, excessive, absurd, foolish, ludicrous, extravagant, unthinkable, unreasonable, insane, irrational, monstrous, senseless, out of the question, laughable, exorbitant, nonsensical, risible…

  2. “Social Happiness” just wasn’t good enough, he had to go “Supreme”.

    Would have been more useful if he’d created a “Ministry for Supreme Toilet Paper Availability”. Now *that* would have led to supreme social happiness.

  3. I just want you to know that I’m stealing that picture and posting it on facebook. Because yes, indeed, words fail me, so I’ll let that perfect image speak for itself.

  4. Makes me want to throw up. In the face of appalling conditions for, por ejemplo, disabled persons, the elderly, children and homeless people throughout Venezuela, there’s going to be this nonsense crap? A Ministry in charge of Co-ordination of other crap ministries of nonsense?

      • Why doesn’t the Ministry of Supreme Happiness just hire all of the homeless and disabled to work for it to study how to solve the problem? Wouldn’t THAT solve the problem? AAgh!

        • Maybe not hardocre supporters, but for your average citizen it’s either “más de lo mismo” or the chance to score a new washing machine by enrolling “la abuelita” into “programa del retirado feliz y revolucionario”. Or a TV by enrolling the kids into “jóvenes bolivarianos multimedia con la revolución”. It comes down to clientelism over and over again. It makes no difference if the goodies come from something serious sounding or from something ridiculous as long as you still get the goodies.

          Si no hay plata, then it’s a bit trickier, but in the end it’s another item in a long list of unfulfilled promises and needs.

  5. Nicolas Maduro creates a brand new Vice-Ministry for the “Supreme Social Happiness of the Venezuelan People”.
    . Or else!

  6. Yay! Ministry of (the Interior, Justice and) Peace, checked. Ministry of (Supreme Social) Happiness, checked.

    Now we are just lacking a Ministry of Love and a Ministry of Plenty. Lucky for us the enabling law is underway…

  7. I would just LOVE to sit in one of the meetings where shit like this gets approved… I mean, if this is the level of ideas that are deemed good enough by the government to become policy, can you just imagine the stuff that gets rejected??

  8. the only thing that comes to my mind after reading that news is that they’re not taking the country seriously, the way people are reacting to this seems like a major self blow to the goverment

  9. I love the detail of making it a Vice-ministry. Because, you know, Supreme Happiness is not worthy of a full Ministry. They are saving that for the Extra-Large Super Size Me Supreme Happiness.

    • See, I was initially confused by the whole vice thing as well. I actually thought they were trying to make people happy through, well, vice . A Las Vegas sorta thing, since that seems to be a Haj for the local Venezuelan population on a regular basis: gambling, drinking, drugs, adult superstores, more drinking, a little bit more gambling, hookers, and organized crime.

      Come to think of it, it isn’t that great of a leap after all…

    • So they should have called it “El VICIO Ministerio de la Suprema Felicidad”, right?

      They could make the theme song “Don’t Bogart that Joint”

  10. Yet, the silliness and tastelessness is consistent with many of the writers of aporrea.org. This does not surprise me, what surprises me is that this is the leadership of a country.

    • somehow, the People’s Power Ministry of Silly Marches seems an idea too absurd for even the Montys themselves (but something that might be announced by Maduro in days to come)

  11. And yet the Venezuelan people are often rated as among the happiest people on the planet:

    Oddly, this was initiated by Chavez a year ago:

    Now any other country we might actually be intrigued by a high level government vice ministry, but because Venezuela has become epidemically incompetent in administering anything, expect Venezuela’s happiness to go down. Which may actually be a good thing, since that might cause the people to end this dozen years of mismanagement. Seriously: Crime way up, but still happy. Inflation way up, but still happy. Can’t buy Arena Pan and toilet paper, but still happy. Venezuela has a remarkable resilience that allows them to stay positive–in fact the second highest levels in the world according to Gallup:

    Anyone know who this Vice Minister of Happiness is? His name is Rafael Rios and his real task apparently is coordinating the 30 Missions. You know the ones that improved health, literacy, food distribution, micro-economic initiatives, and who can even remember them all?

    • Daniel Kahneman, the noble price winner psychologists, points out that one must distinguish between actually felt happiness and reported happiness , people may feel fundamentally unhappy and yet externally induce themselves to falsely ‘believe’ they are happy , because of a number of reasons , e.g. because one wants to believe one self happy or at least to have other people believe oneself happy so as not suffer from the humiliation of confessing oneself a failure at achieving happiness , In other words one can delude oneself into believing oneself happy because that makes one avoid the hurt of recognizing ones frustrations and failures . Happiness is very subjective and cant really be defined in objective terms . The other side to that is that people can feel genuinely happy if their expectations are very low or they ve become habituated to their lives many discomforts and miseries . You might see a malnourished, child in the barrios joyfully playing in a gutter , and sense his happiness despite having no prospects of a good education or a good healthy life .


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