The Strange and Wonderful World of Jim Luers

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What could possibly go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong?

So a lot has been happening in the strange and wonderful world of Jim Luers since we last checked in on him.

Our criollo Tyler Durden, who claims to be both a White House Spokesman and an FBI Agent, and gives every sign of being a dyed-in-the-wool chavista, has turned up on the evening news in France, the radio in Belgium and on sober news analysis shows on NPR, not to mention splashed more or less all over the internet, including this adorable profile in GlobalPost.

In a particular career highlight – or a dastardly act of psychoterror, as you prefer – his existence was officially denied by White House, through latino outreach director Katherine Vargas –  not that a little thing like that was ever likely to slow the guy down:

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Poor Jim then had his Twitter account suspended, but porfiao that he is, he promptly set up a different one.

Spend some quality time on Jim Luers’s blog – and if you haven’t, you’re missing out – and it’s relatively clear what’s happening here: after having been made up by Quinto Dia, his identity has been taken over by some internet jokester who’s running it as the craziest gonzo satire on the Venezuelan interwebs these days.

The White House endorsing the GMO research that brought you bolivarian bush-born acetominophen? Dark warnings about a looming Golf War between Venezuela and Switzerland? The deep story behind the National Assembly’s vote on the Henrique Capriles-Tibisay meme? It’s all there, in a kind of zany chavistoid alternate reality voice that’s equal parts Hunter S. Thompson and El Chunior, with a sprinkling of George Ciccariello-Maher for good measure. Great fun.

But just when you thought the story’s silliness had plateaud, Jim finds a way to crank it up a notch.

Now, Quinto Día, the Venezuelan political gossip rag that first brought Jim Luers to life, has given Mr. Luers a weekly column! That Jim Luers is playing it straight – denying any implication that he ever claimed to be a White House spokesman (that, of course, would be silly) and doubling down on claims that there is no DEA investigation against Diosdado Cabello.

So for those of you keeping score at home, there are now not one but two separate Jim Luerses out there, both of them fake, both of them spewing great gushing spurts of nonsense onto the public sphere with enormous gusto. One of them, though, actually seems to expect to be taken seriously!

¡Que fucking enredo!

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1 COMMENT

    • It goes to show how little respect they have for their people, their country and the rest of the world. They are silly pathetic corrupt burro’s who think they are smarter than everyone else and as a result, their feeble attempts at propaganda to deny the truth only come across as stupid transparent rants, and a spot on impression of the three stooges. With their revisionist history and denial of the facts they actually appear even more stupid than they probably are. They only thing they are accomplishing is making a laughing stock of themselves, with the total destruction of the country the only realistic outcome. If only they could see themselves they would shrink away in terminal embarrassment. Their faces would be redder than the chavista rags they wear especially the sweat suits. Do they not know people laugh at politicians in sweat pants.

      • They don’t think they are smarter than everyone else, they just know the people who still support them are so ignorant that they can be easily fooled. They could care less about the rest of the world or country.

  1. First of all, Jim Luers is a friend of Latin America. And with his sensible and moderate words, he gives a touch of humanity to the harsh cold robotic face of the US government.

    Jim Luers is the antithesis of prejudice, racism, xenophobia, social inequality, hate and war.

    Jim Luers is a small fragile plant growing in the desolate desert.

    http://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/582364/preview/stock-footage-single-little-plant-in-desert.jpg

    If only we had more Jim Luers in the FBI and the White House, the world would be a different place.

    #JimLuersLives

  2. Well, for those that wondered, is definitely a Venezuelan behind that account. I would recognize that tone deaf attempt of a joke anywere.

  3. Ese Señol Jim Luer le esta hasiendo mucho daño a nuestra patria defiendiendo al nalcotraficante mayol. Ay, Caprilito, amolcito, polque no te buscas alguien pa combatil eso, y que venga y suba cerro como tu, ‘pa que nos explique esa cosas tan gonitas que dise ese Señol Gustabo Torre de que y que Democrasia pa todos, y de que Cuba no es tan chevere como desia Chabez, y de que las fuelsas almadas son ‘apocalictas’, y vaina de esa, aqui en el monte lo unico que hablan es de lo bello que es el Marxismo y arepa sosialista. Y que traigan bahtante pollo y pañal que no hay.

    • It’s a joke inside a joke that’s in another joke as matryoshka of jokes that tend to infinity drag us venezuelan into a pit of darkness.

  4. What the regime really needs is a real, Venezuelan American spokesperson with a deep interest in the inner workings of the CIA.

  5. This would be sooo funny… had it happened somewhere else. But I am afraid that the guy(s) behind “Jim Luers” are being paid with Venezuelan money. What a waste of resources.

    La verdad yo también estoy apaleado por eso 😉

  6. Spare a thought in all of this for Mrs Luers. The last thing Jim said to Betty as he left the house on that fateful day was, “I’m going out. I may be some time. I can’t tell you where, because then I’d have to kill you”. Now she has the entire White House press corps camped on her lawn. You people in the media never think of the impact your careless stories have on the ordinary folk.

  7. Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Jim Luers. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Jim Luers. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

    Not believe in Jim Luers! You might as well not believe in fairies! The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in this world.

  8. Twitter has no sense of humor, tomorrow they will be shutting down Angelina Jolie’s leg account because is not actually written by her leg.

  9. Mr. Chancellor Jim Luers,

    Una vez más y de forma lamentable estamos siendo testigos de una injerencia del Senado brasileno en asuntos internos de Venezuela, por lo cual pido a nuestros amigos en la Casa Blanca y FBI, así como al pueblo estadounidense, que declaren de forma inmediata, oficial y manifiesta que los EEUU no tolerarán ninguna amenaza a la soberanía de Venezuela y de los pueblos bolivarianos o cualquier interrupción de la orden democratica en el continente de Simón Bolívar (La Patria Grande), así como toda cosa que pueda exacerbar una situación de inestabilidad política. Incluso pudiendo recurrir a los medios militares para contener a las agresiones extranjeras.

    NI UN PASSO ATRÁS EN LÁ REVOLUCIÓN BOLIVARIANA!

    !Salud y libertad!

    !El pueblo libre y revolucionario de Latinoamérica!

    https://twitter.com/AecioNeves/status/611494957636059136

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