Up With This We Will Not Put: Chavismo has Ruined the McDonald’s French Fry

    Thrilled your good, old fasioned Mickey-D's french fries are back? You may be in for something of a shock...

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    “Has your mother ever made anything as good as the McDonald’s fry?” asks stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan. “Not even close,” he answers himself. He’s right, damnit. There’s nothing like those salty, golden locks of an angel.

    Jim likes McDonald’s.

    I like Jim because he likes McDonald’s and he’s honest about it.

    And so is Carlos Camacho, a Caracas-based journalist, who decided to take his girlfriend to MickeyD’s to celebrate the triumphant return of their famed fries after a 10 month absence from the menu.

    Two months ago I had my own heart break when I failed to find some “papitas” for my Kid’s Happy Meal in Caracas. But after an “intriguing” marketing campaign —which suspiciously offered a “new flavor” — the good people of Arcos Dorados made a big effort to bring back the coveted product. And this time, it’s 100% Venezuelan made.  

    Carlos walked in expecting just the normal fries we all grew up with “you know, about the size of your index finger, crunchy on the outside and buttery in the inside.”

    What he got was…

    sad

    sad 2

    (These were spawned in Frank-N-Furter’s lab. Pics by @CarlosElPana)

    The Horror.

    “McDonald’s fries come from Idaho Spuds,” says Carlos, clearly a connoisseur. “These Venezuelan fries obviously don’t have enough starch. Plus, they were poorly selected, they had black spots all over, and were too thinly sliced. Not like chips, though. More like crumbs, la burusa. I’ve had McDonald’s fries all over the world, those certainly were the worst.”

    When I asked him about the taste, the response did not come with as much detail. He just said one word: oily.

    I guess these are like your mother’s french fries, if your mother was a lazy cook and she really, really hated you.

    Carlos paid  Bs. 2840 for both meals -just under a third of the monthly minimum wage. If he’d gone with the yucca sticks instead of the “classic” fries, lunch would’ve been Bs. 2340. That’s a hell of a premium to pay for a product that would make Ronald McDonald cry. I’m sure there must be some macroeconomic analogy buried somewhere in here, but somehow I feel it isn’t really worth the effort to dig it up.  

    31 COMMENTS

    1. McDonald’s is disgusting and terrible for your body. The less people eat there the better. The regime, by its on insanity and incompetence, did everyone a favor on this one.

      • Something facho-commies don’t seem to understand is, that they’re NOT the owners nor the masters of the fucking life of everybody else that surrounds them, that the world doesn’t spin arount their moronic navels, to feel they’re entilted to determine what stuff do people have the right to eat and what they can’t.

        That’s a pathetic mixture of inferiority and superiority complex that makes them disgusting and terrible.

        If somebody wants to eat at macdonal, LET THEM BE, damnit, stop trying to control every aspect of other people’s lives, it’s not your problem bonehead.

      • True.. it’s also good that there aren’t any car spare parts around, really helped with decreasing traffic and pollution. And those colas? Awesome… getting some vitamin D and it’s better for one’s body to be standing up rather than sitting down. Murders? help with overcrowding. And corruption? damn I don’t have anything for that.

        (disclaimer: not for the sarcastically challenged)

      • I agree. Also, the drastic reduction in availability of airline tickets is a genius move considering how dangerous air travel is, hope the ungrateful bastards in the Venezuelan opposition manage to accept at least that, at some point.

      • I really don’t see why everyone is attacking rory in this one, it’s not as if he was defending or supporting the government. it’s like everyone had bottle’d up snark they HAD to take out.

    2. A question to clarify something: When speaking of minimum wage, I assume this is a monthly amount? In the United States the minimum wage is stated in terms of a per hour amount which obviously isn’t the case here. I want to post about this but I wanted to make sure I was talking apples to apples before I made the comparison.

      • The minimum wage in Venezuela is a fixed monthly amount, which currently stands on like 9500 bolívares, for a work shift of 8am to 6pm, monday to friday.

      • Unfortunately people writing about Venezuela hardly ever describe things as the amount of hours the average or mean person has to work to get something.
        A school teacher with 10 years of experience, by the way, needs to work more than three months in order to be able to pay one month of rent for a one-room flat in a very crappy neighbourhood…and she won’t have a single cent to do anything else.
        A pair of average shoes costs more than 2 monthly salaries for her.

          • I’ll tell you how she survives:
            she and her husband live with the parents. They probably don’t go to work half of the time but teach privately during the same period. They may also spend hours and hours queuing up for food.
            Nurses and virtually all hospital directors resell the hospital material to patients.
            Half of all Venezuelans are literally stealing from others, half are eating out their savings, trying to invent new sources of income by the week. Only the well-connected and those who have found some small niches prosper.

            • I believe only those who are well-connected and have sold their souls to the devil are “successful” in Venezuela these days. Everyone else is just trying to survive.

          • Wild guess: a vast majority are master “tigrito-zoo-handlers” y “cuanto hay pa’eso” bachaquero wizards , best case scenario, If they’re not full-blown enchufados, or bolichiquitos or worse. Pero “el pueblo” es siempre puro y honesto y sabio e inocente y victima de todo. Except Millions and Millions will again vote Maduro and PSUV, plus even more millonas still love El Comandante Eterno. Go figure., do the canasta basica math.

      • Yes Patrick , in latin América when people refered to minimum wage its the monthly income, and particulary in Venezuela there is about 18% of unemployment, 30 % they don’t have a formal job so they are vendors others works part time and so on then you find another 25 % that earn minimum wage in a formal job or between 1 to 4 minimum wage at month…. 11US$ per month…. national average …

    3. For those of us who as schoolchildren were raised on regular field trips to McDonalds, apparently for the sole purpose of getting us hooked on the fries and shakes, this is a great disappointment. They look greyish in hue.

      I think it is time for Venezuela to embrace something closer to home which tastes good made out of just about anything, like the taco.

    4. I tried the famous frankenfries today, have to agree that they were pretty disappointing, and are quite oily, but the price I paid was not as much as stated in this article, the combo of McNifica with yuca at the regular price was 970 Bs, changing those for the fries was only 250 Bs more, so It al rounded about to 1220 Bs

      • Officially that is 178.58 euros. You and your partner can spend 2 days in a four to five star hotel in Warsaw for that amount.

        You can buy food at a supermarket to feed a family of four for almost two weeks in very expensive Belgium.

        Of course, that is with the official rate.

    5. McDonald’s and American Fast food establishments in Venezuela have always been crap. I know because I’ve gone to both American and Venezuelan McDonald’s and I’m sure some of you probably have as well. Ironic how we can manage to drop fast food in quality. The only reason people like them here is because they represent one of the few enterprising bastions of foreign “Investment” left in the country.

    6. While most of us here are really having fresh salmon and vegetables plus delightful sugary deserts for dinner, how about Myanmar’s relatively “clean” elections, compared to the imminent filthy mess in Vzla?

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