The CLAPs face off against the imperialist financial war

If you can't read Spanish, you're cut off from the full dadaist zaniness that official propaganda has reached in Venezuela. Here's a taste, translated from the latest issue of the hilariously weird word-salad collection known as the CLAP Magazine.

Translated by Javier Liendo

Following a catastrophic September for the divided and frustrated MUD, in their ongoing pro-imperialist conspiracy plans, they desperately announce more violence to heat up the streets.

Let’s keep in mind that these political-military actions in service of the yankees -and their regional lackeys- are part of “Operation Venezuela Freedom-2,” based on an intense campaign of communicational, economic and financial warfare, in which the North American so-called “country risk rating agencies,” together with their twins, “the vulture funds,” intensify their neoliberal attack, directing their speculative actions in the financial market against Venezuela, in their triumphant and cynical return to re-colonize Our America, after being the protagonists in 2008, of the world’s most terrible and dramatic capitalist crisis since the Great Depression of 1930.

So we have the yankee “risk rating agency,” Standard and Poor’s, using political and non-technical conspiracy practices to discredit PDVSA and predict catastrophe for the world’s fifth most important oil company; making PDVSA appear to be at risk of default.

But in view of our failed enemy’s renewed attacks, the CLAP remark that this is how we started six months ago, with only 500 CLAP and distributing 1,400 weekly tons of food. Today we can say with pride and satisfaction, that we reached this year’s organizational goal: we have 21,000 CLAP; we’re distributing 14,437 tons of food in priority areas. For this year’s last quarter we have guaranteed access to the agricultural industry’s entire supply of raw materials in corn flour, rice, industrial wheat for bread and pasta, chicken and balanced food for animals.

Our solidarity work now serves almost 1,300,000 families, which means that we’re reaching 5,600,000 people in their homes weekly; and the goal is to reach 2,700,000 families, almost 11,000,000 countrymen in priority areas.

However, we keep improving the production of eggs, chicken, meat, milk, aquaculture and fishing activities, as well as agricultural production of vegetables with winter harvest, and agro industrial production of the remaining products.

With the people’s support, in a firm civilian-military alliance with the CLAP and the Great Mission of Sovereign Supply, we’ll continue rebuilding distribution lines and strengthening national production, from victory to victory. ¡Venceremos!